Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
