Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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