Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
