Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
