We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
