I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I need moral support for this bender
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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