sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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