Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
