it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
