we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
