I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
