her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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