I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
