that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
