He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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