seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We're not piercing ourselves today.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
