You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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