Sry I called you an 8
I have demons in me.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
