I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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