The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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