He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
foreskin is a definite game changer
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
