This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
