he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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