just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
