U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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