She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
