the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
