maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
