We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
