Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
