I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
