She is in my trunk
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
