??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
