god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
