Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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