I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
