great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
