Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just saw a hot homeless man
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
