would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
