I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
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