I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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