why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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