Got a toothbrush?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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