hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
it glows. i had to have it.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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