No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
