So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
