Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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