oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
either way he was missing a nipple.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
