you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
