Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
