I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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