6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
