butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
