I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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