I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
