separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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