i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
