Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
