Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
