We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I wish you could order shots online.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
