he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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