he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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