Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm passing your future prison.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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