Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
