i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
