we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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