I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
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